Posted by: shakyvoiceguy ®
03/15/2008, 17:18:39
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Hello all. I'm new here and just wanted to relate a little of my experience with SD thus far. First, I haven't been diagnosed and as I don't currently have health insurance, I probably won't be diagnosed for some time. That said, I feel there is little doubt that SD is the proper diagnosis for what my voice does. I'm 30 and I've always had a little social anxiety, but not enough to warrant what my voice has been like for the past 3 years or so. Both my friends, acquaintances and I would often attribute my shaking voice to nervousness or anxiety but I can recall many, many instances where my voice would be shaking like I was about to cry and I'd be thinking to myself, "I am NOT nervous right now! I'm completely relaxed! What the h---!" Of course, not knowing what your voice is going to be like in a given day or knowing that you are having a bad voice day leads to increased anxiety (at the store, on the phone, at work...etc.) but nothing I can't handle. It's a strange experience to be as calm as can be, barely even paying attention to my voice, and yet see anguish in the face of the person I'm talking to because my difficulty speaking is making THEM uncomfortable...huh...I feel like saying "you think YOU'RE uncomfortable?"
Anyway, like I said before, I had basically convinced myself that I had some sort of severe anxiety and went through some depression where you feel like you're the cause of your shaking voice and if I could only think the right thoughts then my voice would clear up...needless to say, the right thoughts never arrived.
Then I started searching the Internet (ah...the Internet) for help with a shaking voice and I stumbled upon information about SD. At first I was like "Someone's got to be making this up." Because all the symptoms fit me like a glove. Voice shakes...check. There are good days and bad...check. Even on bad days, you can still sing...check (this one messed with my head a ton!) Having a cold helps...check. A couple of drinks help...check. It was like someone was describing my life to a T. It was great to have some validation that this was not my fault.
That said, for a while, I still walked around mostly believing that the voice shake was something that my mind was causing, but more and more I am really acknowleging to myself and to others that I have SD. That's sort of a tough thing in itself because I think people (at least in my life) are reluctant to believe me at first, thinking that I'm making SD up and continuing to believe that I'm still just nervous/shaky guy. But that's no big deal. It's just made things a lot easier for me being able to explain to people what's going on and then move on whether they believe me or not.
Well, that's a brief synopsis of my story. I just wanted to introduce myself and share (vent) a bit.
I'd love to read about other people's early impressions of their SD.
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